Christopher Hitchens proves existence of God from beyond the grave

It wasn’t long after the announcement of the death of celebrated author, intellectual, humanitarian and atheist speaker Christopher Hitchens on December 15th, 2011, that the comments started flying across the internet.

“He has quite the surprise waiting for him, that one.”

“If there’s a God, Hitchens is having a very awkward conversation right now.”

Curious to see how Hitchens was faring in the next world, he was contacted by a medium in San Francisco, CA.

“I’m a big admirer of his work,” said the medium, known as Madame Mystique to her clients. “We differ when it comes to belief in God and the afterlife, and I hope he’s not having a rough go of it now for his Earthly trespasses.”

The séance was held in her shop on Van Ness, with a few close friends in attendance. It is reported that it took a few tries to get through to Hitchens, who was busy engaged in a heated debate with Heraclitus, Epicurus, Francis Bacon and Friedrich Nietzsche.

“I’m good,” he imparted through the medium once they managed to wrest him away. “Heaven is nice. Open bar. If I have to go on for eternity, this is a good a place as any.”

When asked what message he wanted to pass on to his followers, he replied with the following:

“Tell them I was wrong. There is a God, and I’ve met Him. Turns out it’s Eric Clapton, after all.”


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